i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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