We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
