Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
