Buhtt sex?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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