I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
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i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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