Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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