friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
