Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
