I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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