If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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