My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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