I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
