ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
