Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
