I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
