Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
