What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize