She said her name was "party"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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