There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
