i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize