I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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