There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize