Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
