So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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