wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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