I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
