If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she peed on how many people?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
