Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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