I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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