She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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