are you still at the devil's house?
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
