but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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