do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
