you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
