My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
