I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
