I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
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Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness