Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
