My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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