Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
They took my balls.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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