we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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