I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
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We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
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He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
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