Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
