What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
