Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize