why do cheetos always look like penises
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
