no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
