Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
