I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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