we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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