five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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