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If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
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