What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
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We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
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I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up