sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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