i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.