i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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