Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
