"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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